No, really?
So Craig and I are watching the Tennessee v S. Carolina game on TV and suddenly, the word "COOTER" flashes by on the back of some guy's neon orange jersey.
"Does that say cooter?"
"Um, yeah, I think it did.."
"No way..."
Oh yes, it's true, and even worse that you thought:
http://utsports.collegesports.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/cooter_jimbob00.html
Rambling Recap
The week takes off regardless of whether or not I'm onboard. I'm already most of the way through Monday and already have a death grip on the reins. The most ironic part of all this is that I don't plan anything anymore, yet somehow I'm still very busy.
I was feeling under the weather last week and that was definitely worsened by my allergies. I've been having a lot of allergic reactions for some reason, so I've been trying to be careful with what I've been eating. Last week, I discovered that I'm most definitely allergic to walnuts. What's worse is that food allergies extend into product lines, so I also discovered that I'm allergic to pretty much everything at Bath and Body Works too. They graciously accepted my returns in accordance with their 100% satisfaction guarantee policy. Hooray for Craig for taking care of me. Hooray for Benadryl and related generics.
The highlight of the work week was getting last minute tickets to see Vienna Teng at Wolftrap. The space was very small and intimate. Think of a session of Unplugged, and that was our evening. Vienna was onstage for almost 2 hours and played a beautiful set. She's often compared to Tori Amos and Sarah McLaughlin and I can see why, but there's something different. I'd say she's more Sarah than Tori. After we left the show, we stopped by Wendy's and Taco Bell for the best dinner ever. Fries, frosties (with mix ins), tacos, quesadilla, YUM!
By the time the weekend made it here, we were cloaked again in constant rain. It started early Friday morning which raised a question about soccer later that night. It was on and off all day and became a constant mist/drizzle by rush hour. I was excited because it was the first time Craig was playing with us. We decided to show up and by some miracle, we had enough people to play. The other team scrounged up a few somehow, and it was an interesting game sloshing around in the mud. I've never played in the rain before on a grassy field (wet turf in college doesn't really count I don't think) so it was interesting. Before the game, the refs are talking to the captains and our captain is like, "Hey, can I see your ball?" As in the pink soccer ball that Craig got me. Before I could scoop it up and run it to the car like we never brought it, we surrender it. They're squeezing it, and I hear, "Yeah, I think this will do."
Do what? Panic sets in. They're going to lose my soccer ball in the woods! I'm keeping an eye on it while we're playing and entering a mini panic anytime it's cleared out. Luckily, it didn't get lost. Not only that, but our team won! Craig did well (as usual) and it was fun to be out there together. I had a couple of embarrassing moments but at least people got a laugh out of it. We've got one more game coming up next week, then I think we get a couple of weeks off before indoor starts up.
We were completely filthy and drenched by the end of the game. A quick shower later, we found ourselves at Dailey's place for Vegas Matt's going away party. It was nice to see all of my former coworkers. Everyone is pretty much the same. Kara was there too so it was cool. Even though we really didn't hang out with Vegas Matt much, he's a pretty cool guy and it was nice to know that he was around. We stuck around for a little over an hour, then hit up the Silver Diner for a late night bite.
And that's when Craig ate half of a tuna melt thinking it was turkey. We ordered turkey, but the waitress heard tuna unfortunately. I took a bite and thought, "This is the most rancid turkey I've ever had." And it looked nothing like the turkey slices that were in the club sandwich we were also sharing. Sniffing confirmed that the offending meat was indeed tuna, and I pushed it away. Bleh!
Saturday was gray and rainy, so we snuck in a trip to the Mall to check out a couple of museums. It was fairly crowded, so we spent a couple of hours downtown before we headed back. Ran some random errands then got dinner at a hole in the wall mexican place that turned out to be REALLY good! We watched Old School later that night and it was hilarious. "I'm here for the gang bang."
Sunday was beautiful though the wind was a little chilly. We went out to Great Falls and biked a little on the C&O trail. I was surprised that the trees lining the path were so green still! We were very careful to avoid holes, tree meatballs, snakes, and any other naturally occurring obstruction that you might find. I really enjoyed biking with Craig even though we weren't out for that long. It's fun to be on a bike, and even more important to get some biking time in on the weekends now that it's too dark after work to do it. The path we ride on is mostly gravel and shared with joggers and walkers. A lot of people bring their dogs because there are parks and trails connecting to this path. The most noteworthy thing about this path is that it's adjacent to a canal with gates (dams) that's no longer used for transporting goods. On the way back, we witnessed a rescue effort with a dog who couldn't get out of the water. He was hanging on to the bottom portion of a dock and for some reason just couldn't pull himself out. His owner shimmied across the gate and pulled the dog out. There was a scary moment when we though the dog had given up because he let himself slip into the water. I don't know what we would've done to help, but I'm sure it would have involved getting wet.
After the bike ride, we tried to play tennis, but all the courts in the neighborhood were occupied. Instead, we went to the elementary school field around the corner from the house and kicked the soccer ball around a little. Craig can be very entertaining (and patient!) with these things. It's fun to run around and be silly, but what's not cool is when Craig resorts to trickery. How am I supposed to know that you can't be offsides by yourself? Need to add that to my list of soccer rules from several entries ago.
Later that evening I cooked a simple dinner, and Tina stopped by to hang out too. After dinner, a ping pong tournament and dessert, it was time to call it quits on the weekend. I have been officially booted off the ping-pong champion contender list. Tina kicked some serious ping-pong butt last night.
Not sure what this week brings, but I have no doubt that it will be interesting.
Farewell Summer (and days that resemble it)
I can't pretend any longer that winter is NOT right around the corner. Autumn weather is mild and comfortable, but the shrinking daylight hours and increasing number of fallen leaves blowing around signals the inevitable.
I find this part of the year to be the most difficult because I can't enjoy the best part of the day while I'm cooped up at work. What's more, it's still nice enough for you to want to BE outside. See, come January, it's cold and miserable and the last place you want to be is freezing your arse off outside. So being stuck in the warm office all day doesn't seem like a bad deal.
Setting the clocks back is right around the corner. Think about that folks. When you leave work, it will be dark. All this so that the little kiddies don't have to stand outside waiting for the bus in the dark in the morning.
So instead, let's focus on the things to get excited about in the winter! (I'm going to need some help here.) Holidays, spending time with family and loved ones, gift hunting, hot chocolate, soups and stews, cuddling, sitting by the fire, being the first to trek through freshly fallen snow, post-holiday sales, how the night air feels right before it snows, mittens and stupid-looking hats, Christmas in NYC...
And things to get not-so-excited about! Credit card bills, traffic, travel, never having enough time to see everybody during the holidays, feeling old/lonely/mid-life-crisis-ey, not seeing any "good" sun until spring, itchy wool sweaters, extra cold fingers and toes, the gas bill (heating...
Got more? Leave a comment!
Craig's Take on Triathlon Weekend
So, you're doing a triathlon? That sounds hard. I wouldn't want to do one of the events, let alone all three. I don't envy your training ahead, but do admire your eagerness to take on such a daunting task. I enjoy competition and would probably like the triathlon while I was doing it, but can't imagine putting myself through the torturous hours/days/weeks of training that would be necessary to properly prepare myself for it. Ok, I'm not doing it, but I'll definitely do my best to support and encourage you in it.
I got a couple emails here and there - "I ran this morning", "I swam laps at the YMCA", "I biked for 20 miles". Wow, she really is gonna go through with this. As time progressed, the training updates faltered somewhat, but I didn't mind because it was because you were spending more time with me. I felt bad for causing this lack of training, but we were still keeping active playing tennis and soccer all the time so it wasn't like you were out of shape and being a slob.
I'd been looking forward to going to the Coldplay concert ever since you got the tickets for us in July. I really like their music and to see them in person would be great, especially with you. But to go to the concert that night, drive all the way to NY and then run a triathlon the next morning? That sounded pretty crazy, but if you wanted to do, I was going to do everything I could to help out. I was considering skipping the concert if you wanted to so you could get a reasonable sleep before the big event, but I'd heard great reviews about the concert so I was hoping we wouldn't have to do that.
That Friday finally came around and it was time to go through with our crazy plan. We left early to head out to the concert, but took a scenic detour and got a little more rural than we had planned. Eventually we made it and got some good seats on the lawn. The opening act was talented but not my style so I was happy when their set was
finished. Then Chris Martin came out in his giant, white sneakers and they went right into the music. It was a really great concert and they were sounded awesome live. We were like the RCA dog listening to the Victrola ("His Master's Voice"); the live version was as good as the CD - a nice change from so many over-produced artists. It was a great show and lots of fun, but we'd heard horror stories about getting out of the venue. That made sense though since when we came in, you could
tell that there was basically only one way in or out of the area and all 15,000+ fans would be taking that same road. So we had to leave a little bit early so that we wouldn't drive straight from the concert to the starting line of the triathlon the next morning.
After a long, uneventful drive, we finally got in to Brooklyn sometime around 2:30 and passed out. Two seconds later, it was 6:00 and Victoria was struggling to get Melissa out of bed. We made it out to the triathlon in time - not early, but not the last people there either. There were some really hardcore triathletes there but also some normal looking people so it looked like a pretty good mix of talent. As Victoria and Melissa got prepared mentally, taking care of last minute registration issues, and concentrating on the imminent race, Mrs B and I tried to help prepare the transition area to expedite the changes between events. I dont know if it helped
at all since neither of us really knew what we were doing, but we tried anyway. The race began just as we were starting to feel the sun's heat. It was the first of October so you never know what to expect, but have to prepare for the worst. It was surprisingly warm which made for very comfortable conditions for the athletes.
All we could see was a swarm of blue caps bounding and splashing into the water. It must have been chaos at the start trying to fight for your position in the water. We waited by the edge of the shore and some blue caps started coming in. Then we saw Vic pop up out of the water and try to walk back through the shallow water onto the beach. I've seen drunken frat-boys with better balance than her as she tried
to get out of the water. After stumbling a couple times, she straightened out and made it on the sand. The swim must've been really tough. I hope the bike leg is more forgiving - I figured it would be since she is a very strong biker and probably more comfortable with that. Just a little while later, Melissa popped out of the water and
somehow seemed much more coherent. Onto the bikes.....
The transition went pretty well except for some stubborn wetsuits. After some more waiting, the bike groups started to make their way back in. Victoria made it back in good time and looked pretty strong on the bike. The transition was very fast off the bike, into running shoes and onto the final event. Melissa got further behind on the bike leg, but eventually made it, looking happy to be riding on a nice fall
day but not terribly winded or in pain like others - did Vic forget to tell her that a triathlon is a race? Through the transition area and onto the run.
Victoria finished the run and later Melissa came across the finish line. A huge accomplishment for them both. It must have been a huge undertaking. I was very proud for both of them and very impressed. They both had a good time and enjoyed it.
It was probably very rewarding to have finished the race. They must have felt a huge sense of achievement. Me on the other hand - I can't think of many things that make you feel more lazy than to be completely capable to do those events, but instead just sit and WATCH someone else run a triathlon. Oh well, at least I got a couple free bagels afterwards.
UNCLASSIFIED//SECRET//UNCLASSIFIED
I'm downstairs doing some work to be included in a large, very long and boring document. We're back to flowcharting, folks! And in order to do it right, I need to read all these little stories that describe what people are doing. I had a stack of them printed out and took the unclassified/fouo ones out of the SCIF with me. I started reading one of the packets in the middle, and it was pretty boring until the 6th page when it suddenly occurs to me that oh-shit-there's-a-bunch-of-SECRET-stuff-in-here. What do I do? This isn't something you can pretend didn't happen because the materials were in my possession now for two work days and an entire weekend. The pages looked like they were loose from another document, and just made their way into my loose papers that I grouped and stapled together.
Enter panic mode. I'm envisioning the poly. I'm envisioning the bad-letter they're going to put in my file. It stays there for an entire year, and if there are no subsequent incidents, it comes out. I'm spewing out every four-letter word imaginable as I shove the documents back into the folder and go straight into the SCIF. Of course security is not in their office. I go to the program manager and tell him what happened. I had to write an email documenting what just happened and everywhere those papers were since I took them out of the SCIF on Friday. I had to cc gov't security, my company's security, the government big-cheese-in-training, and everybody and their mother.
How could this happen? I've always been really careful with things leaving the SCIF. I usually never take anything out. Why didn't those documents have an overall classification marking? So, the moral of the story...there are two, actually.
1. Don't take anything out of the SCIF.
2. If you MUST take something out, either check every single portion marking and diagram for classified material, or better yet, run the document through security for screening and sanitizing.
Dammit.
Laptop Funeral
Work gave me an IBM T40 laptop because every consultant needs a flashy laptop, right? Except mine was pulled from the dregs of loaners and even to get one lowly loaner laptop I had to beg and grovel, and PROVE that my old T22 was held together by tape and prayers. So when I got upgraded from the T22 to the T40 it was a big deal. It was like trading in the hoopty for a Mercedes. And yes, clients did make fun of me for the old laptop. "Gosh, can't you get a newer laptop?" "They gave you THAT piece of junk?? Can't you get something better?"
Sure, hold on a second. I'll just click my heels together three times and make a wish. Idiots!
The T22 died twice during critical moments, so when I was upgraded to the T40, I thought it was going to be sunshine and rainbows. Then, I realized quickly that the CD drive was broken. Got that fixed. Then, the D key fell off. o you know how har it is to NOT have a " " key?? Got a brand new keyboard popped in. And now, the latest problem is the following: the left button below the touchpad gets stuck and makes a very loud clicking noise each time it is pressed. Yesterday, it got stuck, and that was REALLY fun because that's the equivalent of always having the select button pressed on the mouse.
So, I predict the following outcomes:
1. Left button falls off.
2. Left button stops working completely.
3. Left button gets stuck permanently.
I have a back-up mouse in my bag, so it's all good.
121 Mile Ping-Pong Table
Despite the relentless rain this weekend, Craig and I managed to keep busy even though we only had one real activity planned. I decided I wanted a ping pong table in the garage as a substitute for freeze-your-ass-off-winter-tennis, so after Craigslisting, Uhauling and an assortment of other f-ups in between, and a time period of at least 5 hours, there is a well-loved (read: used) table in the house.
V and Germs were in town too staying with us, and we kindly excluded them from this activity. I know for a fact they think that we're stupid.
So after all that effort and expense, here's my conclusion: WE WILL LIKE PING PONG (GODDAMNIT!)!!!
Soccer was cancelled due to the swamp like field conditions. Kind of a bummer too since Craig and I were going to play. The next team coming up is supposedly annoying and does a roster check, so he most likely won't be able to participate. But that doesn't mean he won't come watch, which I'm certain he will do even if I don't tell him where or when. He'll find it. So if you're planning on coming too, look for me hiding behind the goalie.
Most of this weekend was spent Puma hunting. As in, the suede retro sneaker, not the feline that I'm most likely allergic to. I bought a New Balance-y grey and pink looking pair for $26. V bought two pairs of the newest released color combinations. Who would've thought navy-white and black-white would be "new". We went everywhere. Leesburg. The new, revamped Tyson's. Fashion Centre. New acquisitions include 3 pairs of jeans, peppermint foot cream from Bath and Body Works, two going-out tanktops from H&M, and a quick gaping-jaw walk-by of the new Victoria's Secret which looks like it belongs in the red light district instead of a mall where children might be wandering. Raunchier than Frederick's of Hollywood... (Do you want to be a giraffe or an elephant? j/k)
In between the table madness and shopping frenzy, we snuck in a movie too! The four of us went to see March of the Penguins. What an awesome documentary!! I now know more about penguins than I ever cared to. They really are amazing birds with an incredible survival instinct. I guess you've got to have *something* going for you if you can only have one egg per batch, wings that you can't fly with and legs too short to run with. The chicks reminded me of the parakeets that we raised a long time ago. So cute!
The directors definitely did a clean cut edit on this omitting a lot of gore. There wasn't even any blood in the water when the seal caught and chomped a penguin. The chickcicles were kind of sad after the snowstorm, but I guess it's OK because penguins don't die, they "disappear". One final comment: the penguin sex scene was really boring. Most people don't know this, but when birds do it, they really get into it. I'm not talking about perch-breaking raunchiness, but it's definitely enough action for the birds to fall off of the perch. I've seen it happen numerous times. They're also very happily noisy.
In other news, Craig and I are all set for San Francisco. I booked the hotel and car yesterday so let the countdown begin!
Flashbacks.
These made me giggle.
July 2004: "My Real Job"
So this is depressing. Z-Dog who started when I started EIGHT MONTHS AGO just cleared last week. I'm happy for him, of course but in a slight panic because it only means that my number is up soon. Or so I thought! Oh, and TinaBop who started in April cleared two weeks ago. She's on program now. Anyway, I was in a slight panic because a REAL job definately interferes with dilly dallying and taking care of grad school assignments which are soon to begin at the end of August.
I ask Z-Dog what he's still doing here and he laughs. Says he was talking to this other guy who cleared two weeks before he did, and they can't find work for mechanical engineers on the project. Well, no shit, we knew that ages ago. They asked him, "Do you know J2EE? (Um, no.) How about BEA WebLogic? (Um, no.) Oookay, if we gave you a book, could you learn it? (Um, I guess so.)"
Magic 8 Ball says: Outlook not good.
So who knows what will happen to me when (and if) I clear.
July 2004: "The New Girl"
There's a new girl who sits next to me now in the cube to my left. We've successfully been ignoring each other. It's just that way with women. Well, WeirdGuy from upstairs who lives in the same apartment complex as the Boy comes down to kind of chat making it seem like it wasn't a special visit or anything. We chat for maybe 20 minutes then it's time for me to run to pick up MissMartha.
So NewGirl is packing up her cube getting ready to leave and enjoy the long weekend when she asks, "Does WeirdGuy come down here often?"
"Um, not really. Why?"
"Because he was talking to me all excited and asking if we'd be here on Tuesday to hang out."
"Uhhh, that's interesting."
"Yeah, Christian said to keep my head low in my cube because most of the men in here have never seen a woman before."
"You're telling me! Yeah, you need to be careful because I've already had two stalkers. I don't talk to anybody anymore."
"Yeah! I was upstairs and one guy was talking to me for a while and noticed my ring. He was like, 'Oh so you're engaged, but not married yet. That's good!'"
Coldplay.
Craig and I saw the last show of Coldplay's Twisted Logic tour last Friday. I've said this 500 times, but the show was awesome! The set design was modern and minimal yet interesting. Chris Martin was wearing all black, minus these gigantic white sneakers which really stood out in a Robert-Smith-Cure kind of way. The band was very energetic, and played a fantastic set. We were standing on the lawn, centered in front of the stage and at times, I felt like we were listening to a CD. That's how good they are live.
We left at 10:15pm, right after The Scientist to head to NY even though the show went on until 10:55pm. Picked up a couple of cool t-shirts as a memento of this fantastic show. Was happy to see Coldplay, but even happier to see Coldplay with Craig. Can't wait for their next tour!
Setlist:
Square One
Politik
God Put a Smile Upon Your Face
Yellow
White Shadows
Til' Kingdom Come/Ring of Fire
Green Eyes
Speed of Sound
Everything's Not Lost
Trouble
The Scientist
Clocks
Talk
Encore:
Swallowed in the Sea
In My Place
Fix You
Triathlon, continued.
We walked our bikes to the start, and mounted after the white line. Melissa is pedaling probably 100rpm and I'm clipped in and ready to go zooming past her. It becomes clear that she doesn't know how to shift, and the three miles I waited for her to catch up rolling at 12mph cost 10 minutes. I wish I had my cellphone or some way of letting her know that I wasn't too far ahead. I panicked and mom's words echoed in my head about not ditching her. Competitive athletes are on their second loop now, and I just started my first. I decide to go for it, and you know what? It felt really good to be on the road bike. The weather was perfect, and the scenery was beautiful. I was also wishing that I had my digital camera with me too.
The wind was forgiving, and if it wasn't a tail wind, then it was a cross wind. There was probably a 3 mile stretch that was unfavorable due to a slight incline and wind conditions, but that's nothing. I'm passing people zipping through and completely braindead. Then, I hear, "Hellooooooooooooooooo!" from across the loop, and there's Melissa, leisurely biking all by herself. Well, at least she's enjoying the ride. I'm definitely tired, and almost done with the bike course. It's all downhill from this point.
I get back to the transition area and there were a lot of bikes parked. Bike on rack, bike shoes off, helmet off. Slipped into sneakers and started running. Except, I can't. I'm moving, no, I'm waddling. Goddamnit, I can't feel my legs! Now, I'm out of the transition area starting the 5k and 3.1 miles seems impossibly long. I just can't move fast enough. The competitive athletes are finishing up the run at this point striding along like nothing. I'm still waddling. After turning a few corners, I'm on the boardwalk. Wow, the beach is really beautiful. Ow, ow, ow. I can't catch up with that 85 year old guy using the walker. Or the really fat lady. Come on legs!! One mile marker. La la la. Trying not to think of anything. Running is a mechanical activity, so just pick up your legs, I tell myself. Well, it's different when you can actually feel them, and since I was more dehydrated than I thought, my calves were cramping, and so was my entire torso. Alex's breathing exercises came in handy.
Oh look! There's the woman I passed on the bike. And that guy too. And him, and her, and yes, him too. They're running past me like nothing. Finally, the turnaround. THANK THE LORD! When you're halfway done, you HAVE to finish! After 2 miles, I could finally feel my legs again, though running up to speed was an issue. I see Melissa just starting the 5k sorta power walking and singing to herself. We pass with a high 5, and I know I'm almost done. Getting happy. Very very happy. First, that this triathlon is almost over, and second, that Melissa is definitely going to finish. YAY!
Then coming up on the finish line, there's V and James and Craig and Mom and I'm just so happy to be finishing, and glad that they were all there to see it. :) By this time, I was pretty elated. Melissa finished not too long after and she was happy too. I'm glad we decided to go through with it! So, which one should we do next?
We did it!!!
I can't tell you how INSANE this weekend was. A BIG thank you to mom and Craig for helping us because without them, we wouldn't have been able to pull it off. Craig and I arrived at the parent's house at 2:35am Saturday morning. We were at the last show of the Coldplay tour late Friday night with the prior understanding that we were leaving at 10:15pm. The concert was fantastic, and definitely not over by that time, but seeing as how it took other people 2.5 hours to just EXIT the pavilion, we were thankful. I got us 80 miles out of DC and Craig took over. I passed out for almost 3 hours in the car, woke up, crawled into Melissa's bed, passed out for another 3 hours, woke up to a 5:45am alarm and packed the car in a frenzy.
Melissa didn't want to get out of bed and almost shit a brick when she saw her tri suit for the first time. "You want me to put WHAT in there??"
We're in the car driving out to Long Island. On the Belt, we see a car POINTING at us in the middle lane. Apparently, some kind of weird accident happened not too long ago, and it was just starting to back up. We passed it and pushed on to Jones Beach. We got to the Ampitheatre at 7:30. I thought it was too late, but a lot of people were arriving and getting set up at that time. The weather was cool and crisp, but the sun was starting to heat everything up. The thin layer of fog was lifting.
Craig and mom set up our stuff at the transition area. You need a whole boat load of crap in order to do a triathlon. Wetsuit, goggles, swim cap, towel, socks, bike shoes, helmet, gloves (optional), jacket (optional), running shoes, and gatorade to name a few. Melissa and I got marked and chipped. I had a big fat "69" written on the top of my right arm in permanent black marker. Aiee.
The race coordinator had the worst Brooklyn accent ever. He was briefing us as to what we needed to do when and how. I didn't hear anything. We made a beeline to the bathroom before even THINKING about putting on the wetsuits. By then, everyone was headed down the beach to the start.
We were able to get the wetsuits on easily this time. There were about 10 minutes to the start, so with goggles and light blue swimcaps in hand, we headed out. Walking barefoot through the parking lot and across the rough beach on the cold sand really hurt. By the time we got to the start, we were hurting pretty badly and could barely feel our feet. Some of the triathletes were going into the water so Melissa and I followed, and were pleasantly surprised by the water temperature. The first few yards were cold, but once we got in knee deep, the water actually got warmer as we headed in. We congregated with all the other <35 light blue swim caps and waited for our 8:06am start. They keep these things running on time. We were nervous. I could barely do anything let alone put coherent sentences together. Melissa kept her cool and grabbed my hand before we started. The next thing you know, we hear a horn and blue is charging forth into the water. We are close to the back of the pack and following through walking through the water until it's right below our ribs before we start swimming. The wetsuit does a great job of insulating you from the water except for when you immerse your butt and all of the inbetween spaces in the suit are filling up with water. It feels like you peed on yourself, especially when those pockets of water start heating up. We swam keeping our faces out of the water to see where we were going. Melissa was to my left. I couldn't sustain that posture since it was killing my neck so I copped out and swam freestyle which resulted in me swimming a sailboat zig zag (and probably an extra 800 meters) to shore. When I looked right to breathe, I saw the kayak which is BAD. The lifeguards in kayaks are basically herding us close to the line, so if you're next to one, you're waaay out.
I didn't even think about correcting my swim path because I was stressed about possibly never making it back to shore, and drowing, and just getting frustrated in general. We were overtaken by the pink and green groups which was scary. I floated dead in the water and waited for them to go. When you're trying to swim next to someone who is thrashing, you don't feel like you're going anywhere, and I was having enough trouble going nowhere by myself!
More swimming. God, does this ever end? Then, I breathe right and see giants. I can get up now! Yes!!! Yes yes yes. But oh, no no no, my calves are cramping. Ouch. A baby wave hits my backside and I almost fall over. I was shaking and fatigued. I can't even walk straight back onto the shore. Most of the athletes are RUNNING. Running. Can you believe that? Holy god. I'm waddling, muscles failing, and now I have to get onto a goddamned bike? What was I thinking??
I see mom and Craig standing on the shore and I should be happy and I am happy to see them, but I can't really express that seeing as how my FACE IS MELTING OFF. Even my face is too tired to stay on. I walk by and ask, "Is Melissa out yet?" "No, not yet." Need to get back to the transition area which is 0.3 miles away. I'm so dead that I don't even feel the sand on my feet, or the shell shards cutting into me.
Another surprise enroute to the transition area. "Go number 69!! WOOOO!!!!" It's V and Germs. Cool! But um, I can't move any faster to the bike. I'm wiggling out of the wetsuit and it comes off easily. I put on my socks, and Melissa shows up. She says the swim was fine. Doggie paddled the whole way. "I was following you," she says, "But then you started going all here and there and I was like, what the heck are you doing??" Melissa gets stuck in her wetsuit because the feet holes are not made for size 11 feet. I'm trying to get her out. There's a guy on the other side laughing at us as he's changing. Says, "I feel like I'm watching a comedy routine!" Germs and V are cracking up.
We finally get it together, grab the bikes and head to the bike course.
I'll continue this later...need to get upstairs!
