Sarcasm with a side of optimism.

Sneaker Drama.

I'm going to continue the theme of my temporary weekend stupidity, so buckle up!

After my fabulous tennis lesson in which I was the tennis superstar of the group, I decided it was a good idea to go for a swim. I brought my speedo just in case, and the pool wasn't crowded in the lap lanes. So, I change quickly and throw my stuff into one of those quarter-rental lockers. As I'm pulling my swim cap on, I realize that I'm still wearing the earrings that Craig gave me. They have no backing, so I go back to the locker to put them away because if I did lose one in the pool, there would be no hope in finding it. After I put another quarter in, with the earrings safely tucked in my wallet, I realize that I forgot to put my running sneakers in the locker. No problem! I put them on top of the 8ft locker and go for a swim. The swim workout went really well, and by the time I got out, I was completely spent. Dried off, got my things together. Went home.

The next day, I was supposed to meet Craig for tennis. Where the hell are my sneakers? I check my car, the gym bag, washing machine, closet, garage, everywhere. They're nowhere to be found. Gah! Community center. I'm an idiot. I drive there, and of course they're gone. I leave a note with the girl at the front desk who is going to ask the custodial staff if they've seen them. The lost and found is empty. I go back home to get my other (sucky) sneakers. I cry for a while.

Now, you're probably wondering what the heck the big deal is. Well, these aren't just ANY sneakers! They're gigantic, ugly, white, old-man Brooks running shoes for people who severely over-pronate. That would be me. I swore that they would make me run faster out of embarrassment when I got them because they were so hideous. And these extra supportive gimpy orthopedic sneakers are not only hideous, but they're expensive.

At close to 10, the lovely Cheri calls my cell to inform me that the cleaning crew did find my Brooks, and they DID put them into the lost and found last night.

Well, that's interesting. Where could they be?

Cheri then informs me that they take the lost and found items to The Closet (Goodwill) once in a while. Just my luck. I have to BUY back my sneakers if I can find them.

First thing Saturday morning, I'm off to The Closet. Just as you and I would shop leisurely at Lord & Taylor, these folks shop at The Closet. I speak with three of the sales ladies there, and they all verify that they have NOT received a donation from the community center.

I fly back there as fast as I can on my broomstick, suppressing the urge to ask, "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY SNEAKERS?" with the confusion act. It worked. I got taken to the back of the pool area's storage closet and there was an enormous clear plastic bag filled with balls, pool toys, sporting clothes, floats and everything colorful that could be classified as fun. The pool boy said that he looked for the Brooks yesterday, but only saw a pair of cleats. The cleats were at the very top of the bag. Then, suddenly, I see a big ugly white toe protruding from the bottom corner of the bag. MY SNEAKERS!!!

I ran out of there so fast hugging my Brooks that one might have thought I was actually wearing them. :)

posted by v @ 10:49 AM