Sarcasm with a side of optimism.

Hashing Gone Wild.

I really wanted to go hashing yesterday, but with the heat index at 100 and ozone warnings, I opted for the air conditioned gym instead. Begrudgingly told Rich that I was going to skip out on this one.

This morning he stops down in the unclassified area and says (with his Alabama drawl), "I am SO glad, SO GLAD you did not show up yesterday."

He had invited his wife's best friend to this week's hash. Rich was in charge of grilling that week, so he didn't run the trail. So Tracy (the friend) shows up at 7:03pm for a run that started at 7:04pm, and there was no time to lay out ground rules or let anyone in the pack know that there was a virgin on trail today.

At 8:30pm, Rich notices that Tracy hadn't come by to say hi. Nobody knew about her whereabouts, and noone even noticed her which is amazing because that entire running club is caucasian. Rich and another runner hit the trail immediately going in opposite directions on the A-A trail. This plan would have worked if she stayed ON TRAIL, but she didn't. Rich is calling out and whooping in the woods and finally hears a return call. He finds Tracy with TWO other women bushwhacking through the woods. Those other women were also part of the club, but their husbands were so toasted at the campground that they didn't notice they were missing. It's now 8:30pm, and visibility in the woods has dropped to 10 feet. 8:45pm, 5 feet. 9pm, 2 feet. They're lost in the woods trying to find the trail, and they can barely see. Finally, they hear voices. But it's not club members trying to find them. It's a small pack of canoers who lost their canoe, and now were lost in the woods trying to reach civilization. Rich has got 6 people he's trying to lead out of the woods.

Then, they hear the search helicopter flying above. Rich's wife is a cop, and she stopped by the park on patrol (it's part of her patrol area). Rich is nowhere to be found, neither is her best friend. She alerts the squad to send out all terrain vehicles and a rescue team.

Meanwhile, Rich is in the woods leading a this group blindly. He's sliding his feet forward because he can't see in front of him. He finally reaches a gravel path, and eventually, they're out. It's 10pm.

I'm very glad I didn't show up this week. It could've been me!

Despite the extreme heat, 65 people showed up for this hash. Last week, only 25 showed up because of the thunderstorms. Next week, they're running through the same park. I'm bringing a compass, flashlight and whistle then.

posted by v @ 1:10 PM