Sarcasm with a side of optimism.

Soccer, Birthday, and Hippos.

This weekend started off well with a soccer double header Friday night. We had an outdoor game at 8pm, and an indoor game at 10:30pm. The weather was supposed to be partly cloudy with 30% chance of showers developing late in the evening. I work about five minutes away from the field, and when I left for the day, there was a dark grey ominous cloud in the distance. GREAT. Then, tiny drops appeared on the windshield. It would be fun to have both games, but if the outdoor one got cancelled, at least we would play one game. Luckily, the rain stopped, and it was all clear at 7:20pm when we left the house. Halfway there, Craig asks if I have my shinguards. I'm always forgetting something. We go back to the house to get them, and arrive at the field five minutes late. The parking lot is full of minivans, and people are parking on the dividers and grass. Arrghhh! It's some kiddie football thing going on, so there's like, 8 million kids, and just as many crazed parents. I am new to this suburbia ritual. The weather is turning, and the mist is coming down thick and even and looks like a sheet of dust in the field lighting. We start a few minutes late, and I borrow a pair of socks from a teammate because yep, I forgot those too. Ai yi yi!

Halfway into the first half, the rain starts coming down heavy. It was so bad that my contacts were floating around freely on my eye, and I couldn't see anything! It was like trying to see underwater. It kept up for another 40 minutes, but the game went on. We won, and it was a good and fun game, but by then we had to go to the indoor place to play our second game and it seemed to be not such a good idea anymore now that we were tired. We were playing this team that's full of ringers and everybody hates them because they're good, but they're also very obnoxious. One noteworthy incident that occurred was me cornering a player who had the ball against the wall. He's not exactly cornered since the field is oval shaped. Anyway, this guy wedges the ball between his feet and bunny-hops a few times with it wedged in between away from me. I was in complete shock that someone would even try to do something like that because first, it's obnoxious, and second, it makes me look really stupid... SO, I'm not being nice anymore and will make a mental note to knee and hack next time.

We lost that game by a lot. Boring details. Got home, and was showered and having dinner a little after midnight. Watched football and an episode of Monk, and finally went to bed at 2am. The next day, we were sore and incoherent and very off schedule. I went to see my manicurist so now I look like a real person again, thank goodness. Random errands, and other boring stuff, the most noteworthy being fighting sleep at 7:30pm. Yes, we are *that* exciting.

Sunday was Kara's surprise birthday get together and we met at the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. The food is good, and reliable but the service was horrible. What can you expect at Tyson's at 1pm? We got her a bracelet from Tiffany (*wink-wink*) and Julie gave her a small Vera Bradley change purse in lime green. Drew gave her a light saber I think. I guess the gifts reflect the type of relationship we have with her. It was a nice outing and I think Kara was happy about it too.

After that, we drove into DC to make a quick trip to the zoo. Except it's not as trivial as it sounds because DC is friggin impossible to navigate. We were very lost, and off the map (as usual) and getting frustrated vowing never to drive in DC ever again, but then we finally found it, and saw that there was a much easier way to get there that was more familiar to us. The zoo is free. It's $12 for parking if you decide to park adjacent to it though. The pandas were not on display, and they were the big draw last summer as there was a panda cub. Two years ago, the cheetah cubs were hot. They're big now, so nobody cares about them anymore. We went to see Craig's favorite animal in the Elephant House: the hippo. They have pygmy hippos there, which are the size of giant pigs so it's more manageable than a real full-sized hippo. One was up against the edge of his cage closest to visitors and he was just kind of standing there sideways. He's very round, and his skin is dimpled and dark grey but very shiny like some kind of synthetic material. It's all the natural oils from the skin.

He turns around and there's this pink protrusion sticking out like a tail, except it's lower. Much lower, and pointing out and back like a tail too. Except the hippo already has a tail kind of like Eeyore.

me: "What the hell is that?"
Craig: (big eyes at me) "Stop looking at his stuff, geez!"
me: "That's his...thing? (there are children around, mind you) But...but, it's pointing the wrong way. Are you SURE????"
Craig: (huffs) "Yes!"

The hippo turns so now he's um, pointing right at me, and I swear to god, his thing slightly retracts, and the very ends of it winks at us. I look over to my left at a mom, and we make eye contact and burst out laughing. We're surrounded by clueless children.

Craig and I go to the next cage, which is a different type of hippo (taller). I'm still not convinced about the thing. I go back to the pygmy and sure enough, it's gone and there's a little holder thing visible similar to what a boy dog has, and yes, it is pointing the WRONG way. I'm perplexed. I guess they....rear end each other simultaneously? Pictures on the internet indicate that they go about it the normal way.

me: "I don't think they can do it the normal way with that little thing.."
Craig: "I'm sure there was more of it hiding in there."
me: "GROSS! But it's still pointing the wrong waaay!!!"

Every time I go to the zoo, it's always an interesting experience.

posted by v @ 9:17 PM