Sarcasm with a side of optimism.

Best of: Online Dating.

Oh, STOP pretending like you haven't tried it. I'm not going to get into a discussion about the stigma associated with online dating, or the types of people who do it. What I will do, unfairly of course, is perpetuate the freak stigma by posting some of the unique responses. What makes it even worse is the fact that the women seeking men ads that were posted were completely clean. Buckle up!

Freak #1:
Hi there:)

My name is _______ im 26 ..6ft 195lbs...short brown hair and blue
eyes...I live in the Fairfax area.

Anyways I read you add and saw your pic (very cute)...so let me cut to
the chase...

I t said you would try anything once, so I was wondering if you would
be willing to help me out:)

I have the fantasy to have a woman watch me Masturbate:)...If you
respond back we can iron out the details...you could watch in
private...or publice (as long as it safe)...so if you want to watch
(pleaseeee) then email me back...we dont even have to make contact (if
u dont want) you could sit in your car and just watch me do it in my
car:)....

Email and let me know,
______

Comments: I like how masturbate has a capital "M". There are too many things wrong with this response so let's move on.

Freak #2:
Neediness is something I understand....most of us have it under
control but many of us recognize that in certain areas...conversation,
companionship and sex...our needs are bottomless...so why not explore
our respective needs and discover how they might match...I'm mid-50s,
6ft tall, lots of saltnpepper hair, wire rimmed glasses, hazel eyes,
slow hands, talented tongue, well hung, energetic, considerate and
passionate...somehow I sense we might have more than a few things in
common--at least we share the desire to find a friend and lover who
melts us but doesn't own us--somebody who you can share all your inner
sesnusal and erotic desires with--and who wants to please you because
we give pleasure as a gift... I am very interested in hearing from
you...and I'd like to talk....for now//DrR

Comment: I deleted the link to his site. This guy is Asian, believe it or not. That bothers me. A lot. Oh, by the way, well hung and Asian? I think not.

Freak #3:
Hope all is well in your world. I would love to find a girl who could dust me on a bike. Very open to anything once. I hope you like food. Hope to hear from you soon.xoxoxo

Comment: Actually, I do like food. And air, and water. Shelter is high up on that list too.

Freak #4:
Hey there,

I saw your ad in Craigs list and it is interesting.

I am single, 30 yrs, Good looking, tanned, athletic in body built,
financially and professionally well settled Indian Engineer and an MBA. I
live in College park,Md at my own house.

To tell more about me, I am romantic & passionate, like movies, music,
shopping, travel, camping, yoga, kamasutra and what ever fun..Also overseas
trips and the beaches. I can be described as spontaneous, funloving, honest
guy with a humour sense.

So can I know more about yourself ..? hobbies, interests. I would like to
take you out for a dinner date and know more about ourselves..

Feel free to contact me anytime.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Cheers!

Comment: If you don't think there's anything wrong with this ad, you need to reread it.

posted by v @ 10:37 AM